Songs that are getting me through what is turning out to be a very tough time for me.

1. Speeding Cars- Imogen Heap
2. Northern Downpour- Panic At The Disco
3. Break The Sky- The Hush Sound
4. Slow Dancing In A Burning Room- John Mayer
5. Let The Flames Begin- Paramore
6. All Around Me- Flyleaf
7. Almost Lover- A Fine Frenzy
8. Learning to Breathe- Switchfoot
9. Dreaming With A Broken Heart- John Mayer
10. Paperthin Hymn- Anberlin
11. Ever So Sweet- The Early November
12. Think Twice- Eve 6
13. Out Through The Curtain- The Hush Sound
14. Californication- Red Hot Chili Peppers
15. Bright Lights- Matchbox 20
16. Don't Be So Hard (Acoustic)- The Audition
17. Wildflower- Sheryl Crow
18. Something- Jim Sturgess
19. Hope for the Hopeless- A Fine Frenzy
20. I Will Follow You Into The Dark- Death Cab For Cutie
21. Tears Don't Fall- Bullet For My Valentine
22. Hallelujah- Jeff Buckley
23. Daisy- Switchfoot
24. And A Tear Isn't Such A Bad Thing- The Guggenheim Grotto
25. Ohio Is For Lovers- Hawthorne Heights
26. Across The Universe- Jim Sturgess
27. Half Life- Duncan Sheik
28. In Fate's Hands- The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
29. Ashes And Wine- A Fine Frenzy
30. Strawberry Fields Forever- Jim Sturgess
31. Mouthwash- Kate Nash
32. Relax, Take It Easy- Mika
33. You- Switchfoot
34. Friend Is A Four Letter Word- Cake
35. Your Guardian Angel- The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
36. Track 9- Unknown Instrumental (don't know the name of it...don't know the artist...just beautiful piano)
37. Only Hope- Switchfoot
38. Jumper- Bedlight For Blue Eyes
39. Oh! Darling- Dana Fuchs
40. While My Guitar Gently Weaps- Martin Luther McCoy

I ended up in the emergency room last night. Aparently I'm not as good at dealing as I thought I was. Drank most of a bottle of cough syrup. Smoked until I threw up. Mom came home and I just...couldn't stop crying. I told her what I'd done, and she drove me to the hospital. Got a psych evaluation, and they determined that I wasn't an immediate danger to myself and sent me home. Today, my mom started calling psychiatrists. I have an appointment tomorrow at noon. I don't want to go, but I also don't want to feel like this anymore. Mom thinks they'll put me on antidepressants. And right now, I feel like she's probably right.

I just don't want to hurt anymore.